Today is hard. There's just no way around it, today is one of the hard ones.
I'm lonely. You know? Sad. I am not loving my un-married-ness today. I think this is one of the aspects of divorce that you have to go through, whether you are poly or monogamous or what have you. I think it's part of mourning the primary relationship that is gone and realizing that you really are not primary to anyone anymore.
I would like to have someone around to give me a hug.This isn't about sex (though I certainly wouldn't mind some quality time with my cute Ukranian boss and a big can of whipped cream, er, wait I digress) this is about just feeling a little cut off of basic human contact. Sad that my marriage didn't work out. Sad that nobody is coming home tonight. Sad that I will make dinner for my kids and then go to bed alone with the dog and sad that when I wake up, nobody will kiss me good morning. That nobody is happy to see me in that special way today or worried about whether or not I ate breakfast or took my meds (I forgot) or any of a million different things. That no one cares the way that someone who lives with you, breathes with you, knows you, cares.
I know that this will pass, sooner rather than later, and it is all part and parcel of the process. I'm okay with that. I chose this process and it was for the best. I am not saying that anyone is doing anything wrong or that I made a mistake. I just feel the loneliness rather acutely today, is all.