Monday, April 09, 2007

Spent most of Sunday curled up on the couch watching a Shirley Temple marathon on AMC, recovering from the Bee Incident and knitting on my boring old st st sock that I've got going. I'm nearly done with #1 and am getting some interesting flashing on the leg, though it striped rather nicely on the foot. Not sure what changed, but whatev, it's coming along nicely. I often think I should knit more interesting things, I know I should post more pictures, it's just that lately I haven't a lot of interesting knitting subject matter going on and that's sad.

I've decided to go back to school next fall. Some things have fallen into place for me and it really does seem like now is THE time to go back and finish my schooling or else I'll be forty and barista-ing for just over minimum wage and as much as I love the java scene, I'd rather progress to something a little more long term, secure, and well, MINE. I had been going to school as a history major/undergrad, so that I could continue on to get my MLS, and I am honestly at the place where I think it is time to let go of that goal. I simply don't have the time or resources to do it what with two kids starting college over the next few years and frankly, I'm not so sure it's what I want anymore. I've always had a little dream of being a shopkeeper in my secret heart of hearts, it was always the thing I'd think of when I'd start my "what if's" and maybe it is wiser to work towards that goal. More fulfilling. I *love* working in the shop and I love working at the cafe and I am really, really good at working with people. I'm good at selling them things and making them happy, whether it is coffee, olive oil or something else. So as much as the maths horrify me, I am seriously pondering the idea of going back and using what GE I have accumulated towards finishing a degree in small business. I'm thinking maybe I want to open a little yarn shop, depending on what things look like in a few years, and I'd like to try working for myself but with the actual proper tools to make a go of things. It's a scary thought, but in a good way - it feels right and hopeful. I don't think I'm too jazzed about the actual business classes, frankly, I'm more into art and history and FUN, but the business classes could just be the means to an end of a life that IS full of art and fiber and fun, and there's no reason why I can't take history classes just for the fun of it while I'm slogging through the maths and statistics.

On one hand, I'm afraid to speak to it here because what if I jinx it? On the other, maybe speaking to it here will make it more real and set my feet more firmly on a path that has been (until now) labeled "pipe dream, do not tell anyone or they will laugh."

This continues to be a real year of change, but I think it may end up being one of the best years of my life if I simply pay attention, work hard and try to learn the lessons life keeps putting in front of me. It may be that I only have the attention span to knit boring socks for the duration, but that's ok. There's an awfully shiny and creative future/reality at the end of this stretch of road.


Lucia said...

Don't be afraid to dream out loud! Only a dreamless fool would laugh.

I could browse forever in a yarn store. My husband could browse forever in a bookstore. Then we could both sit down and have coffee. Just sayin'.

Roxie said...

Education NEVER goes to waste! Good on you and best of luck with your dreams! Step by step, visualize, then actualize.

sopranospinner said...

It sounds to me like you're feeling freer to dream about your future, which is great! You won't jinx anything. That's just fear of failure talking. Clearly, you know what direction you want to go in and where your strengths are. Go ahead and listen to your heart.

And simple knitting frees the mind!

Marie said...

It sounds like a great dream! For me getting my MLIS was the dream and I'm thrilled to have gotten there, but I like the sound of your dream too. And going back to school, in addition to being a huge lot of work, is also a lot of fun (it's that whole learning thing!)
And keep on knitting boring things for as long as you need to - it's supposed to be a comfort thing, not just something you do to impress the blog readers (hee hee).
Oh, and I'm so envious of you getting to hear Tim Curry's voice in person - I love listening to that man talk/sing.

Cambria said...

I'm really excited for you! You'll pull it off, (and it might suck for a little while) but it'll totally be worth it. as soon a my husband finishes school and is working, i have plans for school myself.

Knitty Cat said...

I could do a tarot reading if you like! Pop on over to my blog or e-mail me at barbarella at utahis dot com
good luck! it sounds like you know what you want, which is an important step forward!