Saturday, December 09, 2006

NOTE: To the person spamming my blog with hideous racial epithets in comments. Stop it. We are not amused.

Back to your regularly scheduled blog post. Retail stories!

The dressed up, Victorian looking, strolling carolers who are working the mall really do make me want to bite. They were singing "fa la la la la" at me while I was trying to eat my sandwich in some peace and quiet on my lunch break. Then, later, I caught myself singing "Feliz Navidad" along to the canned Muzak outside and... *shudder* that's some kind of warped caroler mojo right there. They put the HOODOO on me.

Also. SANTA'S HOUSE. Scary place. Have I mentioned?

The hols are funny. On one hand I feel more compelled to help out my fellow man, spoil the people I care about, and connect with my family. Every once in a while I'll see some little kid and they just have MAGIC in their eyes, all the holiday magic, and carolers are the most wonderful thing and they know that the teddy bear is waving right at them. That, right there, that's the point. I love that part. That part gets me smiling at least once every day.

On the other hand, I just want to be nowhere near the parking lots or the crowds. I have a shorter people tolerance right now, slightly less patience and I'm dealing with so many customers every day that I just get peopled out really quickly. The mall music is a never ending circle of the same carols, over and over and over, piped in, and sometimes the songs get stuck in my head for hours. It really is a form of auditory pollution. I adore singing and hearing carols! But not in this context.

It amuses me to think of the carolers lurking around dark corners waiting to pounce and lay their fa la la la mojo on you when maybe you've been on your feet for 6 hours and just want to eat your sandwich in peace and quiet before you have to jump back in to retail land. That mental image makes me giggle. But in reality, I know their job is just hard and they too will have no lives until Dec. 27, and they have to do it in bonnets, corsets and way too many layers of clothing when the weather has been 90 something degrees.

14 more days. Maybe don't be shocked to hear a FAUX news report that some crazy lady has taken up residence on the roof of Santa's Gingerbread House and is lobbing balls of Red Heart at hapless people singing in 4 part harmony.


sopranospinner said...

Please don't hate the carolers! They're just poor singers having a really, really rough couple of weeks where that's all they do and they can't get ready for Christmas themselves or get out of town!

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

Oh trust me, this is mostly humor. The carolers are also employees of the mall, working lousy hours, wearing way too many layers of uncomfortable clothes when it's been 90something degrees out and they have to walk around dealing with more people than I do AND sing over the horrible piped in music at the mall.

I think that what bothers me about them is that I find it intrusive - I kinda shut out the worst of the crowds and the holiday madness around the mall and then suddenly THERE THEY ARE, gathered at my shop door or standing around the little table on the very side in a quiet corner where I want to eat my sandwich, singing. So they sorta force the very thing I'm trying to mentally avoid back into my conciousness.

I don't hate them, really. I feel bad for them having to have the same holiday madness that I am experiencing. But they do trigger the worst of my feelings around the retail experience.

Lucia said...

Lobbing balls of Red Heart, ROFL! I would buy you several drinks and possibly bail you out.

I know just what you mean about the holidays. The funniest part is all the uproar about saying "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" when the truth is that all these poor minimum-wage stiffs are being required to greet me with ersatz holiday cheer, Christian or ecumenical variety as the case may be, in shameless and relentless pursuit of the almighty dollar. Just take my money and say "thank you," for Pete's sake.

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

Lucia, yes, for the most part I just stick with "Happy Holidays!" because we have a large Jewish clientele as well as the Christmas celebrating folks (either for religious or secular reasons) and nobody complains.

I really, really WANT people to have a nice holiday. But I do think the consumption is a little bit over the top.

I seriously had one guy who spent over $900 on olive oil gifts for places like real estate offices and doctors. That is so far beyond my ENTIRE CHRISTMAS BUDGET, that is rent on a one bedroom apartment, and that wasn't even for homeboy's family. That was just, "Hey, thanks, now go make me even more money next year!" stuff.

Lucia said...

The people I really want to grab by the collar and shake are the guilty divorcees (of both sexes) who spend way way more than they can afford on gifts for their kids. The Beatles were right: money can't buy you love.

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

No, or happiness. And maybe that is the other part of what bothers me about what I see is that I see a lot of folks trying to buy themselves a happy holiday. And you can't do that. At least not a happy that truly sustains you and nourishes you for longer than Christmas morning.

I want folks to be happy and well fed, in all the ways that matter.

Geogrrl said...

I finally have the scans of the yoga positions. They're from Week one of an old book called "Be Young with Yoga" by Richard Hittleman, published in 1962. Evidently he was quite the yoga guru in the 1950s and 1960s.

Anyways, I need a place to send them and I don't have a contact. Send me a message via my MySpace profile (without the symbols). I can put the scans up there for you and you can download them (I'll have to add you).


Geogrrl said...

DH and I often discuss overconsumption. Christmases were more modest when we were growing up, and my family still doesn't go overboard. I've been knitting things like socks and hats as gifts, which my family are perfectly happy with.

BTW, have you ever listened to the Lime and Violet podcast? Hilarious! That, along with Cast On and Sticks and String are among my favourite knitting podcasts.

Geogrrl said...

Looks like I can't upload them to MySpace. If you can give me a junk e-mail address, I will send the scans in instalments. Contact me via chemgrrl[att]hotmail[daht]com. Then erase this post and my first post with the MySpace address.

Sorry again for the delay.