Saturday, December 16, 2006

I really wish that the holidays had come a few weeks later or that I'd injured my back a few weeks earlier. I wish I'd had a few more weeks of physical therapy before we hit the crazy time. I hurt, all the time. I get through my workday with my back brace holding me up, on pure cussed stubbornness and the wonders of boning and velcro. My back brace holds me up because otherwise I can't even stand up straight for an entire shift on my own. By the end of my 8 I am curled in on myself like a shrimp. I limp to my car and I cry on the way home and fall into bed on top of an ice pack and then I get up and I do it again the next day. I am NOT going to call in sick. I am NOT going to go home early. I am GOING to make it through my shift. That's my mantra. Every day. I can do it. I can do it. Every hour I last is an hour that I didn't give up. Every night I promise myself that I can call in sick if I really need to in the morning or that I can leave my shift early if it hurts. Every morning I make myself get up and every shift I make myself finish. I am discovering some reserves and depths in myself that I didn't realize I had and that is maybe not such a bad thing.

I have gift wrapped SO many items and put together SO many pretty baskets and SO many fancy food boxes in the last 5 shifts that I think my lifetime quota has been met. I don't know as we'll be having wrapped gifts under our tree this year. I don't even know if we have wrapping paper. Do you think the kids will mind tin foil? I have not put up a single winter decoration. We have not bought a tree. Tonight, after I came home from work (long after sundown) they woke me up from where I'd fallen asleep over the laptop and we lit the menorah and I yawned through the prayers.

I'm shuffling through the days like a sleep depped injury fogged zombie and not in a "Oh rar, hottie zombie apocalypse girl!" kind of way either. I'm so tired, I didn't even get grumpy when all the carolers showed up today. I mean, who cares? Carolers. Rah. Whatev. Do you want that gift wrapped? No, we do it for free. Gold paper? A big red bow? Great! Here's your bag, have a WONDERFUL holiday, come back and see us soon, g'bye now! HI! Do you want that gift wrapped? No, it's free. Red or blue ribbon? Here's your bag, have a WONDERFUL holi..... *twitch*

Thank god my mother is coming to visit next Thursday. She will pull us all into the holidays, kick our asses to buy a tree, hang the stockings and make sure there is a modicum of holiday cheer going on Chez YP. I've already told her I'm a zombie. She said not to worry about it, she had it all under control. There will be cheer, ornaments will be hung, food will be made and I can just survive retail and not worry. Yay mom.

I wonder if she gift wraps?

6 comments:

Geogrrl said...

More to the point, does your mother come gift wrapped?

I have those yoga positions scanned for you, but need a place to send them. Can you give me an address? Even a temporary one?

Roxie said...

You know, when you die, you are going straight to heaven, because no one makes you go through hell twice, and you are half way through it already. Give Mom a kiss for me!

sopranospinner said...

Sorry it's so awful! I hope you get some time off after the Christmas rush!

Moms are great, though. When I leave for the airport on Friday, even though I have to travel 8 hours with 2 under 8's (during the day, blech), my heart will sing. Everything that can have been done will be and I will be off to where my mom will take care of me for two weeks! I can hardly wait...

Lucia said...

100 bottles of olive oil, 100 bottles of oil, if you doll one all up in bright ribbon and wrap you'll have only 99 bottles of...

OK. Never mind. Yay mom! And yay you and your stubborn streak, because I'd have brained someone with a bottle of you-know-what by now.

Cambria said...

I sure hope she gift wraps! You poor thing. It sucks when your job doesn't offer paid time off and you could really use it. Hope you make it through!

Herefox said...

There will at least be a few things gift wrapped arriving in the mail shortly :-)