Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I haven't had much time to knit this week. Really just been throwing in a row here or there on the Icarus shawl whenever I have a chance to sit down for ten minutes.

Spending a lot of time thinking about life and living it every day. Thinking about ways I can be a better friend and a better person in general. Thinking about ways I've failed to do that. Trying not to dwell there so much, but just keep moving forward towards the person I would really like to be on a regular basis. I've spent a lot of time dancing this week. Dancing, for me, is about as close as I can get to whatever passes for God, without actually touching. And I've had a pressing need to be close to that, so dancing it is.

Reconnecting with my kids has been good, though I sent a little girl away to camp and got back a pre-teen in a BIG way, inches taller, boobs, and wearing tinted lip gloss. Such a pretty girl. But where's my baby? So-chan did indeed shave the head, but fortunately there's a hawk and some chelsea bangs so if I look at her head on and squint, I can pretend there's actually regular hair. I hate to say it? But she's a really cute punk chick and looks GREAT in a hawk. So I'm adjusting okay.

I wanted to say congratulations to my friend Inky on her new home! And though I'm really behind on bloglines, I'm catching up slowly.

I wanted to say something else. You matter. You, reading this blog. Person I may have never met before. You totally matter to someone and more someones than you think. Don't ever forget it. When things get dark and horrible, you have to hang on to that. Don't forget. The hole that someone leaves behind when they lose sight of that is bigger and more painful than you can imagine. You matter.

8 comments:

Inky said...

You rock. You really really rock. I wish I was still in LA because I'd love to know you in person.

Thank you for being here.

PBnJ said...

I just wanted to thank you for this post and the previous one. Very touching. Thank YOU for doing your part to make a difference in people's lives. I love that part about just doing what we can when we find a broken piece we were meant to fix. If we all had this mentality the earth would become a drastically different and better place.... Thanks!

Lucia said...

I third that. Thanks for the reminder, and thank you for helping to pull me out of my crappy mood the other day. (I had quite a few people pulling on that rope, couldn't stay mired for long.)

sopranospinner said...

Okay, you choked me up AGAIN. Not fair.

I've blogged before about how I don't have very many friends. And one that disappointed me this year. She's really in need, still, and I'm trying my best to be there for her.

And you're even in L.A., right? Me, too. I appreciate your wanting to make everyone feel, well, wanted. It's a great thing to put out there into the world.

Star and I are going to manage to meet up. Maybe we can, too?

Dave said...

You matter too. And I appreciate that you're trying to make a difference in this crazy world. Keep on keeping on.

Knitty Cat said...

Glad to help?
I know what you mean. I've never had an easy time making friends here in mormonville. The internet has let me meet people I wish I could hang out with all the time in real life.
My net-friends have been a real boon during dark times.

Roxie said...

As Lucia said to me, "I am holding up my biggest brightest mirror," Right back at you, dear heart!

My DH and I will be in LA for his family reunion in September. We will be mostly in the El Segundo and La Mirada areas. Any idea about good yarn stores around there? I know, this is like saying, "Gee, you were in the Navy? So was my cousin. Did you meet him?" Los Angeles is ginormous, and there must be a brazillion yarn stores out there. But maybe you know someone who knows someone . . .

Keep blogging. The ethernet builds a safety net. We need to make connections.

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

Yes we could hook up for coffee, Soprano. I'm at rainwood (at) gmail (dot) com if you want to try to set something up.

Roxie, yes, there is a GREAT yarn store in El Segundo. I don't know about La Mirada. The El Segundo store is The Slipt Stitch.

I'm so grateful to all my internet friends.