Tuesday, April 11, 2006

You know you grew up in a VERY LAX (read, mostly not observant) Reform household when Pesach comes and you think, "Well gosh. What is everyone fussing about?" because as far as you know, all you need to do is buy a chicken, some potatoes, a few bottles of wine and find the Hagaddah from wherever it was on the shelf that you stuck it a year ago.

I had no idea you had to do so much cleaning and special stuff for Passover. I don't remember different dishes, special covers on the counters or really doing anything particularly special for Passover. I don't think my dad even threw out the bread. I didn't even realize Passover was coming until Trader Joe's started carrying matzah and I thought, "Oh! Matzah! I love that!" and then it occurred to me that I should be planning to have people over for dinner maybe and a seder might be appropriate and OMG it is PASSOVER and there is STUFF to do and if I were any good, I would be observant and prepared and I am yet again a Jewish person who does not have clue.

I feel very compelled to email the woman whose home we used to go to for seders, and apologize for not appreciating all her hard and invisible work.

So I found this Reform guide to Pesach.

I have the stupidest questions. Like, is minute Cream of Wheat chametz or is it okay? It cooks under 18 minutes. But it's wheat. Do you throw all the grains out but matzah? It is very confusing. I have to confess that I never thought about this before so I have tons of grainy stuff in the house. I can't afford to replace it. I just bought 10 boxes of Barilla on sale for $1 each. Maybe I can just put it all out on the porch?

Yes. Like I said. I am La Belle Jew Sans Clue.

5 comments:

Lucia said...

Hey, don't look at me: you're not getting religious advice from a lapsed pagan.

You may be sans clue, but you are tres amusante.

Ragnar said...

Yeah, sort of a dance-naked-in-the-moonlight-paganish type person myself, but from where I'm standing, I think it would be okay to loan all of your wheatbased products to your friends for a few days.

And isn't it just levened (er...spelling? you know, the stuff with yeast in it) bread that's the problem?

Shannon said...

I'm going to my first Seder tonight. I'm freaking out and hope my fake kosher cooking (no, I don't have seperate pans, but I don't cook meat in the house anyway) will be approved of. *sigh* So stressful!

Geogrrl said...

No help here--Irish/French RC background. But I'm enjoying watching you get in touch with your roots. I can't wait to hear the description of the Passover celebration.

Susi said...

Sell it to your Gentile neighbor for a penny. Go get it after passover. Once you get the hang of it you'll wonder why you sweated. Join a 'Gog that specializes in reintroducing you to your roots. It's fun to learn with others... makes new friends, etc. (I'm Gentile, but my Dau in Law helped run a Synagogue and I read all their info)Fascinating!