Friday, March 03, 2006

rain swooping down wrathfully upon Southern California, news at 11

Haven't gotten much knitting done today, though I think I finally settled on the stitch pattern for Cam's WHWIR socks. Today was spent running errands and enabling sooper seekrut plans for the Aussie's birthday this weekend. I do so love to be in the middle of it all and cannot wait until Sunday when the sooper seekrut plans are unveiled. I'd tell you about it here but then I'd have to kill you so I guess I'll wait till Monday.

Los Angeles drivers are a breed apart. I mean, really pushy, aggressive, lousy drivers at the best of times. I used to be a very polite and laid back driver until I moved down here. Nowadays I yell obscenities at little old ladies in crosswalks while I'm sitting in traffic, juggling a latte, newspaper, cell phone and mascara wand. Okay, no, not really, I'm making that up. For one thing, I don't own a cell phone, I don't wear mascara much and I don't read the paper. I probably could set the world record for creative swearing in the car though (multiple languages! slang! made up words!) I do like my lattes and I'm not the laid back driver I used to be. Even so, comparatively speaking, when you put me up against the rest of Southern California on a freeway, I come off as totally laid back and relaxed. Really.

When it rains, LA drivers turn into even pushier cell phone yakking, latte juggling, inept FREAKS of nature. Like, even more so than usual. I was out running my errands today when the clouds opened up and a few drops of rain fell down onto La Cienega Blvd. You'd a thunk that maybe it was the Second Coming or perhaps the Four Horsemen had been spotted 'round about Kenny Hahn Recreation Area. I cannot comprehend why a little bit of water in the sky can create such an unholy mess down on the roadways. True, I know how to drive in the rain because I grew up and learned to drive in a rainy part of the state and I understand things like how to maneuver on wet roadways. But still! Here's a newsflash for ya, LA. SLOW DOWN. 'k? No, no don't hit your brakes. It is not necessary to create a sea of brake lights. We do not need to all stop and go even more than usual. Just, reduce your speed a little bit and pay attention to the other drivers around you. Also? Maybe get off the phone and put down the latte. One or the other, anyway. It's really easy and I promise you will still get there.

It is supposed to rain all weekend and I have a lot of driving to do on account of that Aussie's celebrational happenings. Truer love hath no man (or knitter), just saying.

Btw, that title? The weatherman actually said that last night. That rain was "swooping" down upon So Cal and would unleash wrath. I just want to be clear, ok? These are not my people. I do not speak their language. I look at them like a dog looks at a noise that it does not understand.

I'd natter on, but my teenager is having a sleepover and there is giggling in the bathroom and apparently some hair cutting. On one hand, I'm pleased that she combed out her dreadlocks. Because, well, euw. On the other? I am afraid. I am afraid of the hair cutting. But I suppose, being mom, I could always swoop down and unleash my awesome wrath.

7 comments:

Lucia said...

Chort! You're definitely my kind of swearer. Are LA drivers worse than MA ones? The description sounds fairly similar, except for the freaking out at minimal precip part.

Cette fichue pluie...

Z said...

Sounds like DC drivers to me. Pittsburgh drivers are becoming JUST.AS.BAD though with the rain and god forbid it should snow when we're on our way to or fro!

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

I've heard that folks back East get into a tizzy and panic and then run to empty supermarkets at the first news of snow and I don't understand why that is, cos you guys get snow all the time!

Not having lived in snow (except for a miserable 3 weeks in the mountains when I was in massage school) I must be missing something. 'splain? Is it because if the snow is bad then there is no running out for milk? I can sort of understand that logic.

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

Lucia, I've driven in MA, if briefly, and I thought the drivers back East were really polite and the freeways were super slow. It was a totally different experience to drive back there and I constantly had to force myself to slow down. I didn't drive IN Boston or any cities though, just out the tunnels from the airport and then on the freeways up to NH and VT.

What blew me away was how small your freeways are. Not as many lanes.

Lucia said...

About the snow-panic-induced grocery madness, you are correct. Since, yes, it would be annoying to run out of milk or bread while it is actually snowing, but OTOH even with cleanup this is rarely more than 24 hours, your puzzlement is also understandable. (I am told that Minnesotans think we are wimps.) I attribute it to some atavistic instinct that says "uh oh, snow, will be trapped in cave for 3 months now." Of course you would expect Minnesotans to have it too; maybe they're just smarter.

Your freeways blew me away too. Way too many lanes, sensory overload.

I think the drivers actually in and around Boston are ruder. I attribute this partially to poor road design. In many places two lanes must merge into one, and in some places one must enter on the right, cut across three lanes and exit on the left 200 yards later while fighting traffic trying to do the opposite. It can make one a bit testy, especially if one is already late for work.

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

Lucia, I seem to remember that about the Boston freeways. The system seemed poorly conceived.

Lucia said...

"System" is far too organized a term for it.