Monday, March 06, 2006

In Which Yarnpirate Drones On About Oscar

Actually I didn't watch them. I missed them. I did NOT MISS the multiple helicopters all buzzing around Hollywood and the area of H&H which were very loud. There was a blimp. Some planes with ad banners. Hovering copters. It was a veritable cacophany, a noxious cloud of noise pollution. I also did not miss the hundreds of LAPD out on the streets, on bikes, motorcycles, in cars, on foot, directing traffic, guarding streetcorners and generally looking unfriendly. Saw them, yep. Another thing that wasn't missed, nay, was RIGHT ON MY RADAR was the sheer number of idiot drivers in Hollywood yesterday. 10.2 million people live in Los Angeles County. And at least half of them were trying to find parking on the same block as me.

There are a lot of actresses in Hollywood and most of them seriously need a sandwich. And a malt. Also, perhaps a side of chili fries. Bobble headed dolls, think about it.

The members of Industry Stylists Local 179 were obviously on crack. One of them was apparently sure that we were going to flood, judging by the floatation device on Charlize Theron's shoulder. Fortunately, said flood never materialized which is lucky for poor Charlize because every emaciated A list actress in the vicinity would have grabbed on to her and she'd surely have died.

Why must there be fishtail gowns?

And who won?

3 comments:

Jill said...

George Clooney was the first winner of the night (excuse me, "and the Oscar went to...") - and he totally set the tone for the Oscars to be like the Golden Globes - which would've been great 'cause JACK was a presenter and might've mooned us. Unfortunately every other winner sounded as if they were giving an eulogy - except for Six-Eye Mafia(?) - whose rap song "It's Hard Out Here Being a Pimp" won - and STUCK in my head.

Ragnar said...

Yeah, it was all a travesty, thank god I was watching at the bar with the sound off.

Come on, bows are the new...sorry, I was going to say "bows are the new skulls" but I can't say it, even in jest.

Inky said...

Aside from the Mafia winning the Oscar (I'm still amazed), the whole thing was the usual borefest. Salma Hayek was the hottie of the night for me in her blue dress. Lots of ladies in nude colored gowns that made them look like washed out girls who need a ham. But I watched the whole damn thing. Although I somewhat envy you for living in La-La land, I don't on big event nights :)