Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Mr. Yarnpirate continues to be, well, very sick. There's something about being told "Oh, he'll be flat on his ass for 2-4 weeks. At least." and knowing that you're on day #2 post DX that feels very... daunting. I'm... tired. I cannot even begin to get into how tired I'm feeling. We're past that fight or flight point of "OMG, serious illness OMGWTF!", past the point where we've received the dx and are relieved that we even know, and we're at the point now where the gaping maw of reality has just opened up in front of us and we're staring at each other and thinking, "Oh sweet creeping zombie jeebus, what is THAT?"

I'm not particularly good at asking for help and honestly, 99% of the time, I don't even know where to start or what I really need help with. But I'm gonna start needing help soon. Today was just this crazy day. Today I was sitting in late afternoon traffic demonlooping things like "Why do the children have to have activities anyway? Why can't they just stay home and watch Nickelodeon? They don't NEED enriching things like dance and horseback riding. What was I thinking? I survived on Bugs Bunny and Brady Bunch reruns, after all." I never realized how much J does for me, around the house, with the kids, just, every day, all he does that makes it possible for me to be home with them, teaching Em and driving to activities and knitting and blogging and doing my own thing at my own pace. Except now? Now I get it.

You know the crazy thing is, this is just, temporary. This is not permanent. Big pain in the butt, yes. A serious chunk of time, yes. A huge change in our life? Yes. But really? Not very long at all. When I think about people who care for the disabled members of their families, the elderly, who do it alone and with no breaks or end in sight? I have tremendous respect for those people. Because we're not even halfway in and I'm whining like a big whiny thing. WHiny whine whine.

Dear Universe. Why, it's another clusterf*ck Glorious Learning Experience that I need to be all freaking zen and enlightened about! Thank you! So much! You really shouldn't have! I guess you thought I really needed one! I'll hang it in the bath or perhaps next to the Moss-Covered, Three-Handled, Family Gredunza. Stoppit with the glorious opportunites. I have quicklime. Just sayin. NO Love, Yarnpirate.

In other news, I am four decrease rows away from casting off my Olympics sweater back. Phwoar.

1 comment:

Ragnar said...

Yer gonna get a gold star AND a gold medal. Rah Rah pirate queen! Just take it one watch at a time.

And I say...let the children go free range for a couple of weeks, it won't hurt them to miss a few enrichment activities if it means that their Mama comes through it all with her sanity intact. Just explain to them that if they don't take care of themselves for a few days then they'll have to take care of you when you become a dribbling headcase, and no body likes being spit up on by their Ma.