So it looks like my mom will be incarcerated in the hospital for at least another week, which, while that concerns me (because dude, a week in hospital? They never let people stay that long these days. She MUST be like, super sick.) it also is reassuring to know she's somewhere with knowledgeable folks and a lot of drugs.
Some states are small and you can drive across them in a few hours. Some aren't. In my infinite wisdom, I moved to the far southern end of California and my parents both live in the northern end. That is a one day drive if you smoke crack, maybe, but really, I usually take it in two, not being a crack fan. Well okay actually it is one day to Mom's house and the second day gets me to Dad's house and if I went an hour or so past that, I'd be in Oregon and there are a few places I routinely stop for an hour like, iHop in Bakersfield (this is to pee after the venti mocha I always nurse over the Grapevine) or the McDonald's in Willits (because if you don't stop for a chocolate shake there on a road trip, the trip is automatically cursed.) so maybe I really could make it in a day if I wanted, but it would suck hard.
My point is, it's very hard for me to GET THERE if something goes wrong and I can't just, say, drop by the hospital between lunch and picking up the teenager from school and so I feel really cut off and useless and like the Worst Daughter Ever because I'm not there, being useless, I'm HERE being useless. And being useless stresses me out. I love my parents. I'd prefer to be helpful and sit in Mom's hospital room and knit at her while she sleeps.
A blog post elsewhere got me to thinking about those cupholders they sew into plus size clothing. You know, the big pockets for boobs? See, I'm a quasi plus sized girl. I am just a little too bootylicious for the stick figure clothes stores, but the plus size stores are usually too big. Pants, I buy pants there. I would love to buy my shirts there but they come with venti soup bowls where your boobs should be and I could stick ferrets in there and they could invite a guest or three and I'd still not fill the boobholders up, so there's some lost revenue for that company. Are you hearing this, Lane Bryant? Some of us are shaped like EGGPLANTS and we don't need cupholders.
Obviously, to solve today's conundrums, I need a TARDIS and a couple of ferrets.